Since I'm flying to the UK soon, and I presume the medium of language for dhamma talks there will be in English (Actually I'm pretty sure about this). Hence, let's tune the channel, and switch to an English channel for this post, shall we? Bare with me, as I find that English is more applicable in the UK :)
The other day, I attended a Dhamma Talk by Sister Dr. Chan Kar Yein.
The topic is on ''Sigalovada Sutta: Creating Harmonious Relationship''
To summarise the background of this Sutta:
During the Buddha's time, there was a youth named Sigala, who is very filial to his father. He listens to all the advices that his father gave and will put them into actions. All but except one thing: To listen to the dhamma. Upon the father's deathbed, the father requested that Sigala should prostrate(a full body bow) and worship the 6 directions, as the father foresee that the Buddha will come to Sigala if Sigala does this every morning. Being filial, Sigala thought it was right to uphold his late father's wishes and does it until one day The Buddha came to him.
Lord Buddha then, based on Sigala's point of view, taught him on how a noble one should worship the Six directions.
The 6 diresctions are:
Parents (East)
Teachers (South)
Wife/ spouse (West)
Friends and colleagues (North)
and the two vertical directions as:
Ascetics and Brahmins (Up)
and the Servants or Employees (Down)
Sister Chan Kar Yein went in depth as to how one could create a harmonious relationship according to the Sutta.
And we should take note that there's never an one way relationship, but a mutual one.
So, she talked about:
Husband & Wife
Parents & Children
Friends
Teachers & Students
Employers & employees
Spiritual Teacher & Followers.
Perhaps I could share more on ''Friends'' as choosing a true friend is highly emphasized by the Buddha in this sutta. And then, I'll talk about the ''Teachers & Students'' part, which really did inspire me deeply.
According to the Digha Nikaya: A true friend is one who proves a comrade at your hour of need.
And another saying, When it is dark enough, you will see the stars. At times of bad, you'll know who are the shining bright ones that guides you through the dark :)
False friends are:
1. The robber ( He who thinks of getting but gives a little, and only a friend for his own profit)
2. The Smooth talker ( Good at talking about what is done and what is yet to come; then when you're in need, he makes excuses). To my understanding, we often regard this type of people as tin kosong don't we?
3. The flatterer (He who consents your wrong doing; sing praises to your face and run you down the back) a.k.a the backstabber :(
4. The leader to ruin ( He who encourage you to drink, to gamble and to have night life).. Does Mamak Stall session counts? YES. So do try to minimize on that. It's not always necessary to meet up pass midnight right?
And the True Friends are:
1. The Helping friend ( In times of need, she gives you more than asked for. :)
2. The friend through thick and thin (She confides in you, and keep your secrets; never deserts you in danger)
Sis Chan Kah Yein said, the true friend test, is to tell only ONE friend a secret, then see whether does the whole world knows about it for like after one month. Then you'll know, who your true friends are.
3. The good counselor ( He who stops you upon evil and encourage you to do good)
4. The loving friend ( He sympathize you when you're sad, Rejoice when you're feeling happy. This is mudita. To rejoice at your friend's success without a sense of jealousy is something great to do, and it's something I'm learning to do; Besides, he defends you when others criticize you, and join in the praise when someone praise you)
So, have you got a true friend?
If you can count yours with one hand, then you're actually very fortunate. Really.
If you don't, don't get depressed or start complaining about your friends for not being such true friend.
Something I have to add in is tat, we learn the Buddha Dhamma, not to use it as a tool or ruler of such, to measure others' rights and wrongs.
The correct way is that, to use it as a mirror, to reflect to yourself, in this case, have we been a true friend to the others? Have we fulfill the four criteria of a true friend? And how much effort had we put in in taking care of others' hearts and feelings? We're not perfect, but, do you have the will to be a wholesome being like the Buddha is? I would. Why not you too? :)
So, Start now, start today. And Quoting from Sutta Nipata: Friends are won by giving.
Be one's true friend, and according to the law of attraction, you'll attract good people towards you. It's worth a try. :)
To all friends out there, I share this merits with you. Saddhu :)
我曾参加过一些佛学班或佛学生活营里所安排的电影分享。
参加过的电影分享并不多，因此我认为自己未必有能力分析出电影里的重点。
此外，我的表达能力也的确有待加强。
然而，我不妨尝试把自己的感想写出来，欢迎大家来加以补充，或提出你们的看法！嘻！
大概不少人都有看过这片电影吧？于去年2008年上映，戏名：‘Yes Man’。
一直到上个月，才有机会观赏这影片，看后并非有很大的感想。然而，近来，因自己的遭遇而联想回故事里的情节，有所感想。
先说说戏里的情节，再谈谈戏后感想吧！
主要分成三个阶段：
1。开始时，主角是个常说‘No’的人。在银行里工作时，不曾批准顾客获得贷款；常拒绝朋友的邀请；不愿意踏出一步行善，宁可说自己很忙，在家懒洋洋地躺在沙发上无所事事。搞得生活一蹋糊涂。
2。接下来，主角参加了一个工作坊（workshop)，开始对于任何事项，请求，邀请说‘yes’。不经三思，不经考虑的答应一切。就因把自己开放于一切的选择，抓紧一切的机会，而生活大有变化，事业及交际成功。
3。然而，因无智慧的答应了一切，把自己陷入种种困境中，为难了自己。最后带出说‘yes’，也要‘yes’得有智慧。
戏中的细节，就自己去发掘吧！：）
看了后我并无多大的启发，是因为我认为，我并无常常找借口把事情推掉，反而常常把事情抗上身。
那，最近，因得拒绝于不少朋友的邀请出门见见面，或是因帮不到朋友的住宿事情而得说不时，发觉到自己的弱点。
我，不懂得该如何说不！
的确，最终我说了不。然而，我内心是挣扎了许久，不知该如何开口说‘对不起，我无法出席’，或是‘对不起，我无法帮得到你’。
我因无法说不，而拖延了给人家答复的时间，造成不少麻烦。
有人说，我给了他们错误的希望，之后因办不到而带来额外失望。
曾经，韵怡一针见血的说，我很倾向答应他人的请求，宁可不顾一切成全他人，而搞得自己很累，为难了自己。
而映慧也说过，我真的不懂得如何说不。
我认为，一部电影，对于不同的人有不同的启发。众生根性不同，对不？
对我来说，我学到了，说‘yes’，也得是凭着智慧而说出来的。
另外一点，我发觉，我执着于‘实在的我’不能够成全‘实在的大众’。
担任佛学会主席时，我会因得不到少数执委的支持，而会想尽办法找出一个大家同意的决定。这固然是好，不过我往往会过于注重这点而忽略了较重要的事项。
有时，明知自己出席不了，或是办不到的，却说‘再安排’或是‘让我考虑考虑’。其实，我若马上给予明确的答复，不就更方便他人吗？
我也会因帮不上忙而觉得自己能力不足，不欢喜。
其实，一切应随缘而行。
若因缘成熟，帮得到了他人，欢喜了，就该放下。
而对我来说更该做到的是，当因缘不具足，尽了力也无法成全大众，更该放下。不起烦恼。
不执着于布施的我，布施的物品，及受布施的对方。
我若受布施时，也应如此。：)
小小领悟，希望我能做得更好。
这篇感想，不知是不是写得不清不楚？
不过，大家不妨在看戏时，除了为了娱乐以外，试看注意戏中每个主角，甚至于小小的配角；再反观自己，与剧情，或是当中的角色有何关联。
或许，我们能从他人的经历中，看到自己的不足呢！：）
祝福大家。
近来，常诵念着大悲咒。无论是梵音，或是汉音，都喜欢挂在嘴边。
觉得大悲咒跟自己很相应，是从八月的佛法营开始。
那时，在般若学舍的厨房里，洗着盘碗，格成师兄走进来，哼着梵音的大悲咒。
哼得响亮，哼得清晰。
我随喜，跟着他一起哼~
哼着，哼着，啊，怎么读音不一样了？
原来，我不会正确的发音，只懂得照着自己的记忆唱诵出来。
格成师兄说，不需要为此困扰。
他说，大悲咒是发自观世音菩萨大慈大悲的愿力，及无上菩提心，而诵出来的。
若发音不准确，却秉持着虔诚清静的心去诵念，一样的与观世音菩萨大慈悲心相应；
一样的带有观世音菩萨普度众生的功德。
我听了，很欢喜，很法喜。
那一天，格成师兄送了我一份礼物。
他清唱大悲咒，录了下来，电邮给我；并把梵唱的正确读音写了下来。
我觉得很受用，也想在这里写出来和大家分享：
Namo rana tala yaya
Namo ariya jhana
saghala bei-ler jhana
yuhala jaya Tathagataya
ala ha-teh samyasam Buddhaya
Namo salwa Tathagataya
ala hatabeh samyasam Buddhaya
Namo ariya awa lu-gei-tei
siul-walaya Bodhi sawaya
Maha sawaya Maha galu nikaya
Tadiata Om tala tala
dili dili tulu tulu
yi-ti-wei yi-ti jia-lei jia-lei
bulai jia-lei bulai jia-lei
gu-su-mei gu-su-ma---wa---lei
yili-mili-jidi-zuo-hala
mapa naya soha
其实我小时候，家人未接触佛教之前，不知过程是如何，观音菩萨成了我的干妈妈。
大概是民间信仰的做法吧？
或许，这样子让我与观音菩萨种下了一个缘。
如今，接触了佛教，发愿要礼敬十方三世一切诸佛菩萨。
那，我要向观世音菩萨学习那大慈大悲的心！
我，也希望能成为众生的菩萨！：）
愿，众生早日成就佛道。我也是众生其一，也愿我早日成就佛道啦！：）
阿弥陀佛！：）
这是我的第二个部落格，不是吗？
基于卓依第二个部落格的启发，自己起了个念头：
''我也想写一写自己在学佛道路上的经历，疑惑，甚至感动；
我也想要有个管道，能够以一个佛教徒的角度，抒发我对于一切人，事，物的看法；
我希望这也能成为我写下自己的疑惑的机会，成为大家分享佛法的平台。'' ：）
自参加七月五日的佛法营以来，我开始了一个给自己的功课：觉照自己的起心动念。
至今，我发觉，较容易觉照起心动念的时刻，多于当心放柔，放细时，或是当自己静下来，无所事事时；
那，当处于动中，或是高兴，或是不开心时，自然地，要不继续让妄念乱飘浮，要不往下沉淀，提不起心力来，造成了后知后觉的状况发生。
看来，这份功课还得下更多的功夫呢！哈哈，要加油，精进！
往往，若能把自己的起心动念也写下来，除让他人读读看看之外，自己更能反观自己，认识自己，何乐而不为？
起心动念即缘起。动了写第二个部落格的念头，种了个因，就要不怠懈地付诸于行动，促成其果！
我的第二个部落格，诞生啦！：）